I'm The One Who Gripped You Tight
by profound-idjit
Summary: Castiel comes to Dean seeking help. He's used to having feelings now, but he's never had these ones before... (3K fluffy slash oneshot)


**A/N: This is the first fanfic I've ever published (hooray!) so if you're going to comment or review: I won't ask you to be extra nice, fair or gentle to me because sugar-coating is not how writers improve. Direct constructive criticism is a great thing. All I ask is that you to keep in mind that this is a first effort. May your heart too be destroyed by Destiel feels. Enjoy!**

Dean shut the motel door behind him, locked it and shrugged off his jacket, letting it fall onto the nearest bed. Sam was out chasing girls at a bar but Dean didn't really feel like it tonight, for once. He was tired.

He ran a hand through his hair and rubbed his eyes. He blinked a couple of times and then jumped as he saw Castiel standing near the other bed.

"Cas! Don't do that!" he said, taking a deep breath. "You scared the crap out of me!"

"I am sorry, Dean," Cas said sincerely. "I didn't mean to frighten you."

"What are you doing here, anyway?" Dean asked, walking over and sitting down on the bed in front of the angel.

Cas opened and then closed his mouth without saying anything. A light blush touched his cheeks. Dean found himself wanting to touch them, to see what they felt like and if they were warm under the blush. He violently shoved the thought away – he'd been having too many touchy-feely Cas thoughts of late and it made him uncomfortable.

"Well?" he urged. Cas hesitated. "I came to talk to you. I want to ask you a question."

Dean gave him a get-on-with-it look. He was tired, after all.

"I've been having strange feelings and I don't understand what they mean," Cas said honestly, looking straight into Dean's eyes. "I thought you would be able to help me."

"Well, shoot," Dean said, warily curious. He wasn't sure he wanted to know but hey, this was Cas. He always helped Cas.

"I keep imagining… wanting… to touch you," Cas said without preamble, his gravelly voice tinged with confusion. "I like the idea of holding you. I don't understand."

"What, like… you _want_ me?" Dean asked after a couple of seconds awkward pause, the statement shocking the fatigue out of him. Gay gay gay gay gay. Oh no. Push it out. It's all wrong, Dean likes women. _I like women_, Dean told himself firmly.

"Yes," Cas said simply, his navy eyes filled with confusion.

"You mean you want to… to kiss me, and stuff?" Dean said, standing up and approaching the angel. _So much for liking women, huh. _No no no, bad thoughts. No. Go away. He had no idea why he suddenly felt like teasing when he should have been backing off and telling the angel what was what.

"I… yes," Cas replied, his blush deepening. The desire to touch his glowing cheeks washed through Dean again. Before he had time to push the thought away his hand had acted unconsciously and gently traced Castiel's right cheekbone. The angel repressed a shiver, his eyes boring into Dean.

"Cas, I don't…" Dean began, but didn't finish. Cas was staring directly into his eyes, his expression almost afraid, like a lost puppy. He looked so confused and vulnerable that Dean acted on impulse, leaning forward and touching his lips to the angel's.

Cas gasped and broke away, pupils blown wide with shock and desire. Dean's action hung in the air between them, freezing them both for a moment. Cas broke the spell. He seemed to arrive at a decision; grabbing Dean he pulled him close, one hand on his waist and another over Dean's shoulder, his hands digging nervously into Dean's back. Cas had never kissed anyone before and he had no idea what he was doing – he just pressed his lips into Dean's and hoped for the best.

Dean was shocked – no, he was beyond shocked; he was _stunned. _ Not only at what was happening but at the fact that his body was responding so… _enthusiastically_ to Castiel's nervous lips against his. Dean vaguely registered that they seemed to fit nicely with his.

Jesus, what was going on? He was straight, he knew it, he'd been with girls for years! What the hell was he doing?!

Cas retreated slightly, looking up at Dean with an unsure expression, eyes flicking to the ground in embarrassment as soon as he met Dean's gaze. The corner of Dean's mouth twitched up into half a smile as he pulled the angel back to him, opening Cas' lips with his own and lightly darting his tongue in. Cas responded carefully, mimicking Dean. Dean was straining against his jeans now –_ straight, my ass_, he thought. (Literally.)

Spontaneously and entirely without permission, Dean's hands strayed to Castiel's hips and pulled them in against his own. Cas moaned into Dean's mouth, his eyes rolling back into his head slightly at the pressure. Lust overtook Dean for a moment: he backed Cas into the wall and pressed himself into him, begging entry to the angel's mouth with his tongue more forcefully only to find Cas responding in kind. After several seconds of passionate exploration of the angel's soft mouth, Dean moved down to kiss Castiel's neck.

"Dean, I –" Cas tried to say but Dean hushed him with another kiss, pressing his hips harder into the angel. Dean could feel Cas' boner pressing against his own and, _god_, the pressure was ecstasy.

"Dean, I don't –"

Dean relinquished his lips' command of Cas' collarbone and looked into the angel's eyes. "What's wrong, Cas?"

"I didn't expect this to happen," Cas confessed, sounding concerned. Dean snorted. "It may come as a shock to you, but neither did I. This could actually be the weirdest thing I've ever done, and you know I've done some weird stuff."

Castiel gave half a smile. "Is it okay?"

"Dude, it's awesome," Dean muttered, returning to the angel's neck. "Can… can I try something?" Cas asked, his voice breaking slightly. Dean wondered if it was from nerves or pleasure – probably both.

"Sure, go ahead," Dean replied, relinquishing his grip slightly so Cas could move. Cas surreptitiously prepared himself by taking a deep breath and then, hands firmly on Dean's hips, pushed the hunter backwards and onto the double bed, not stopping until Dean was flat on his back, kicking off his shoes and wriggling backwards to give Cas some room. Cas pulled off his own shoes and crawled eagerly after Dean.

_This should feel wrong_, a panicked little voice inside Dean's head interrupted. _You shouldn't be so happy about this._

Dean pushed the voice away to focus on the amusing sight of Cas, whom upon discovering that trench coats were not brilliant things to be wearing when making out with someone on a bed, had attempted to remove it and become tangled. Holding back a chuckle Dean sat up and helped him get his arms out. The second it was off Cas flung it away, pulled off his tie, tossed that away too and then pushed Dean back down onto the bed.

Something suddenly occurred to Dean and he held up his hands. "Wait! Sam might come home. Let me text him."

Dean reached for his phone on the bedside table, slapping at it a couple of times before he got it.

_Got someone with me, don't come in_ he sent.

The reply was quick. _Ha! Thought u were tired?_

_Shut up _Dean sent back, then lightly threw his phone back onto the bedside table. "Done."

Cas eagerly resumed pushing Dean into the mattress, lowering himself onto the hunter and pressing their lips together in a sloppy kiss. Now that he had some vague idea of what he was meant to be doing he was going to damn well do it.

Copying Dean's actions earlier, Cas started planting wet kisses in a trail down the hunter's neck, his hands roaming Dean's broad, muscled chest. Dean made a sound somewhere between a grunt and a moan – Cas may have been entirely new to this but to Dean, each amateur kiss felt like an extremely pleasant electric shock. Spurred on by the moment, Cas gently bit a (sensitive, it turned out) spot on the back of Dean's neck right into the muscle above his collarbone. It felt _so _good that Dean involuntarily jerked his hips up into Castiel's, pressing their crotches together. Cas pushed back at the pressure, moaning. He buried his face in the side of Dean's neck, overcome with the sensation of the hunter's body against his.

Dean's fingers crept up and softly played with Cas' hair, tangling his fingers into the dark locks. Cas squirmed slightly. "What's up?" Dean asked, slightly breathless. The angel's crotch was hard against his.

"It tickles," Cas grunted. Dean laughed, the sound rumbling through Castiel's chest as well as his own. He steered Cas' mouth back to his and kissed him, passion exploding through his belly. Cas slid his hands under Dean's shirt, his palms clammy, tracing the hunter's well-muscled torso. He'd been imagining this for months, but never had he imagined it would feel so beautiful, the sensation of strong muscles jumping occasionally beneath skin at Cas' touch.

Dean groaned, grabbed Cas tightly and rolled them over so he was lying on top of his angel, whose wide blue eyes were penetrating his again. He sat up slightly, pulled off the three layers of clothing he was wearing on his top half and then set to unbuttoning Cas' business shirt. Cas wiggled out from under him once it was unbuttoned and sat up to take it off, revealing a lightly toned chest that did nothing to quell the heat in Dean's jeans.

Dean went to settle on top of Cas again but Cas held up his hands. "Wait."

Raising a quizzical eyebrow, Dean waited. Cas cleared his throat and reached out for the button of Dean's jeans, fumbling slightly as he undid it and zipped down his fly. Dean hesitated briefly before assisting in the removal of pants and underwear, Castiel's next. Cas wasn't the only nervous one, he realised.

Cas stared at Dean's dick. "Oh," he said.

"Oh?"

Cas half shrugged, looking embarrassed again. "I've never seen another one before."

Lust overcame Dean at the sight of his nervous angel sitting naked in front of him, his gaze flickering everywhere as he tried to work out where to look. A familiar wave of protectiveness washed over Dean as he gently pushed Cas down onto the bed, easing himself onto him so as not to increase anyone's nerves by moving too fast. Cas gasped and moaned deeply, his eyes half-shutting, as their cocks touched. He touched a hand to Dean's face, the other caressing his back, as he pulled the hunter, his human, to his lips, kissing and being kissed back fiercely. Dean demonstrated phenomenal self-restraint as he avoided thrusting, just rocking his hips back and forward instead and earning moans and choked out '_ohs_' from Cas as he did so.

Dean started trailing kisses down Castiel's neck, chest and stomach. He knew where this was leading: would he go there?

He didn't think he could hold off any longer, his cock so desperate for relief he was panting.

_Yes. He would._

Sucking on Cas' hipbone, Dean stroked the angel's almost painfully hard cock.

Cas practically bucked into his hand, making a noise like an animal. "_Dean_."

"You like that?" Dean teased, repeating the action. Cas nodded, nearly shaking. "Dean, yes. _Please_."

Dean didn't think he had ever been so turned on in his life. Leaving Cas' hipbone, he moved lower and licked the angel's cock all the way from base to tip. Cas whined, his hands balling the sheets into his fists. The sound was heavenly to Dean's ears; one hand reaching down to his own dick, he took the angel into his mouth and began sucking him off.

Cas almost couldn't handle it. Despite his obvious attempts at restraint his hips jerked every now and again, whines and groans escaping in a constant stream at this previously eternally unfelt kind of pleasure. He started to sweat.

"De… Dean," Cas managed to get out, one hand moving to his hunter's head. Dean took this as his cue to go faster, his tongue flicking around the tip of Cas' cock before taking his full length into his mouth again. He may have never done this to a guy before but he'd had it done to him plenty of times, and he knew what worked.

"Dean, something… I don't… something is… happening," Cas groaned, his voice higher than usual and his back arched.

Dean went harder, faster, the angel's taste filling every fiber of his being. He needed Cas to say his name like he needed air.

"Dean," Cas gasped, hips jerking upwards, his voice rough, undone. "DEAN!"

He came violently with a cry, half twisting in the bed because it just felt _so good. _Dean kept at it as Cas rode the orgasm out, shouting Dean's name in short bursts when he wasn't busy making indistinguishable noises. Finally he settled, breathing heavily, and Dean slowly released him, returning to lie at his side.

"Oh, Dean," Cas managed, sweaty and wide-eyed. "I have never experienced that before."

"Pretty good, huh?" Dean smirked, pleased with himself (and, to be honest, dying for Cas to touch him). "You like that?"

Cas nodded, pulling Dean in to kiss him. He frowned after a couple of seconds. "You taste strange."

"That's you, dumbass."

Cas' eyes, if it were possible, widened further. "Oh. I am tasting myself."

"Well, yeah."

"Do I taste good?" Cas asked earnestly, the nerves returning to his eyes. Dean was hit with a rush of adoration, like being swamped by a giant wave at the beach. His angel.

"You taste good," Dean confirmed, pulling Cas in to kiss him again. Cas responded eagerly, his hands straying over Dean's body like he would never be able to touch all of it.

"Dean," Cas said after a couple of minutes, "should I do to you what you did to me?"

Dean swallowed. "If you want to," he replied evenly, instead of screaming _YEEEESSSSS, oh god, Cas, I want you._

Cas started recreating Dean's actions from before without delay, planting more wet, sloppy kisses down Dean's torso and paying special attention to his hip area. Dean couldn't hold back his groans – damn, Cas remembered well.

Cas hesitated at Dean's dick. "I suck it," he said, his gravelly voice searching for affirmation. Dean nodded, about ready to combust with anticipation. Cas gently lowered his mouth onto Dean's dick, almost all the way down to the base, his tongue sliding deliciously along its shaft. Dean groaned, the sound catching in his throat, his hands unconsciously tangling in Cas' hair. He _needed_ this, so badly.

"Cas, oh god. Cas, you feel so good," he moaned. "_Jesus_. Don't stop. Please. _Cas_…"

Vastly encouraged by Dean's response, Cas started sucking Dean faster, his tongue behaving in a most unconventional manner as it flicked around whilst he went down on his hunter, forcing grunts and gasps out of Dean at the short bursts of pleasure. The angel's improvisation was exquisite – Dean felt blood pooling in his abdomen as he prepared to climax.

"Cas," he growled, "I'm gonna come in your mouth if you don't move," by way of warning. Cas merely looked up at him once, his eyes excited, and went faster, his tongue working with his mouth in long hard strokes. Suddenly Dean's abs clenched and he orgasmed with a strangled shout, coming into the angel's mouth and yelling out his name, his hands still clenched in Cas' hair. Gradually his grip loosened until he finally relaxed, quiet but panting slightly and lost in bliss. Cas crawled smugly up to Dean's side, burrowing into his chest. Dean put an arm around him and kissed his head. "You're really good at that, you know."

"Practise makes perfect," Cas responded, thinking the human saying fit well with his plans for the future.

Dean let out a bark of laughter and squeezed his angel tighter. "I'll bet!" he chuckled. "Thanks."

"You are welcome, Dean. Thank you, also."

"Yeah, you're welcome."

They lay in pleasant silence for a couple of minutes, Dean absentmindedly tracing patterns on Cas' arm and back while the angel's eyes started to shut. He was exhausted – never had he expected that his confession to Dean would end up like this.

Dean voiced this exact thought not ten seconds later. "You know, when you scared the crap out of me standing near this bed, I didn't really think we'd end up here."

"Me neither," Cas answered quietly, almost afraid to speak in case it destroyed the moment.

"Yeah, well, I'm glad it did. I'm happy."

Those two words made Cas positively burn with joy. All he had ever wanted was for Dean to be happy, and now he was – because of him. It was an indescribable feeling. Cas pulled the blanket up and over them, squeezing his hunter tightly in the warm space. It felt like home.

"I am happy too, Dean. Very happy."

Dean smiled, his closed eyes crinkling around the grin despite him being already half asleep. "Awesome."

Cas drifted off on Dean's shoulder surrounded by the hunter's arms, more at peace here than he had ever been – than he could ever be – anywhere else. Not even in heaven.

Dean was all he needed.


End file.
